I’ve been complaining a lot recently about how my life sucks. In my opinion, there hasn’t been enough work in the past three months. The newest round of complaints fell into the ears (rather, eyes, as we only chat online) of my dear friend Sam, who is the unfortunate soundboard of my carping these days. I was grumbling last night about how I can’t afford the shoe brand that I want for Svet, in preparation for her going to school this Monday.
Before you start laughing at my source of grieving, let me tell you that growing up, my sisters and I didn’t have much. Our shoes and uniform were rarely new at the start of the school year. We can hardly afford the books required by the school we went to. So I hope you understand why I’m depressed at not being able to provide those things for my daughter so easily. I felt last night like I was the most horrible mom on earth, yet I cannot do anything about it.
Sam and I go through the same money hardships lately and we have the same line of work, so opening up to her comes easy for me. She gets me like no one else does and she is a good listener. I can go on and on about something, and she’d just listen and share a similar story. It makes me feel better, because every time I talk to her, I know I’m not alone.
Last night was different. Sam wasn’t about to share my woes, no. Instead, she told me she learned that one of her close friends is battling Stage 3 breast cancer. The friend’s jobless because of her ailment. She has three children, and hasn’t gone to a single chemo session because of the lack of money. Yet still, Sam says her friend is positive that everything will be alright.
Right then and there, I broke down like a goddamn baby. There I was, bitching about my lack of money, not realizing I have a lot less to complain about and a lot, lot more to be thankful for. I usually am satisfied with my life and with what little I have. A not-so-easy life growing up has taught me that. I lost perspective for a while in there, and this brave, brave stranger whose name I don’t even know slams all the focus back into my face.
A list of things I’m thankful for today:
- I am still alive.
- I am healthy.
- I am able to work.
- My family is healthy.
- My family has wonderfully supported me through this hard time.
- We still have money to buy food.
- We rent a comfortable house.
- The internet is fast.
- Svet picked up her art supplies from the floor after using them.
- Sam and her friend.
And you know what, my day is just starting. And I already have an old design client waiting. Thank you Jesus.